Whales = Cows

Finally someone agrees with something I've been saying for YEARS. Whales are just cows of the ocean. Japan have a hell of a lot of people to feed, and whales are definitely a viable pathway to solve the imminent food shortage. Well after a few modifications obviously. Such as, whales do not breed very often. So this problem needs to be addressed = genetically modified whales! If we can get a rat to have an ear attached to it's back, surely we can get whales to have a higher libido without too much difficulty. Problem 1 solved.

Problem 2: Housing the giant beasts. Tuna are housed in circular net-type cages, so obviously you would need quite a few acres of ocean to farm the whales. You can't GM the whales to make them smaller, that would defeat the purpose. You might as well farm dolphins instead, at least they enjoy having sex - makes increasing their numbers a lot easier. So we just need a friggen huge metal cage - about 10km2 roughly. That should be big enough.

Problem 3: Greenies. Find an island. Get a pair of every species alive and set up an open sanctuary type thing - like a safari - where all the animals can live together. Make sure there are plenty of herbs, fruit and vegetables available for eating. NO electonic communication. In fact, no communication what-so-ever. Dump ALL their hippy asses on the island and see how long they survive with "nature". See how long it takes before one of them gets eaten, goes nuts, and becomes carnivorous. I guarantee if any one of those makes it off the island, they would not give a shit about the welfare of an animal that contributes nothing but "cute noises" to the world. Another problem solved.

Problem 4: Being an endangered species. Simple, once you have reproduced enough, release them into the wild again. So what about not being able to cope on their own, blah blah blah. They'll pick it up. We're just going to increase their libido and gestation period, not their natural instincts. If some person in Khaki shorts and a pith helmet can teach a parrot or a kangaroo to live on their own again, surely we can get that same person to teach the whales how to swim again. Done.

I can't seem to think of any other problems. Perhaps we can set up farms around the world, and the price of whale meat can boost economies of countries that are failing on their own (providing they live near water, obviously). Also that could create jobs for people. The cows - sorry, the whales - need to be moved so that they can continuously graze on plankton. So naturally we need farmers, and "station-hands" to move the whales. Otherwise we will be over-run by plankton fields, and any way you look at it - that's not good.

So, farming whales will: create food, create jobs, revive the species from their endangered status and we will be rid of the Greenies. I think it's an option that should be considered.